STELLIUM

I absolutely love the way the "News" presents all Great Proclamations of those that rule the rubels--uh, dollars: "President Obama today announced new initiatives to give you more money for your retirement," she said gleefully. The low-down: Friends, you can now save YOUR OWN MONEY in the retirement account YOU HAVE FUNDED ALL BY YOURSELF with whatever little money YOU GOT BACK from your federal taxes from OVERPAYING YOUR THOROUGHLY DESERVING government in Washington, D.C.! Yes, you too can have more withheld from your taxes than you are required to and then save it (um, that was yours, right?) in your own retirement account, all without having to worry about Social Security, which we'd all rather you not exactly "count on." All of this is now possible because your Treasury has now granted you the liberating right to have your said tax refund directly deposited into your very own IRA! Wheeeeee! Isn't it just gooey? Oops, I almost forgot, you can have YOUR VERY OWN MONEY come back to you in the form of United States Savings Bonds. Now if that doesn't make you feel warm and fuzzy then you're not all that red, white and blue, are you?! And to think it was all said with a STRAIGHT FACE quite sincerely into the camera. I nearly fainted. I don't know about you, but I'm planning to head right down to HR as soon as I get back from Labor Day (!) to have them change my W-4 to have more of MY OWN MONEY withheld each and every year from here deeply unto eternity so that I, myself, can have more of MY OWN MONEY directly deposited into my IRA approximately a year after I gave to the Treasury to hang on to for awhile, you know, and kind of warm up for me and stuff because this, most certainly this, will help me have a dreamy retirement. It makes me feel secure. How are you doing?